So I have this 6 year-old student who is probably one of the cutest kids ever. One day we had the following conversation….
Student: (talking to my aide) What’s your name again?
Aide: Mrs. E remember? I have worked with you before.
Student: Oh yeah, well my name is Bob Lee (name has been changed).
Aide: yeah I know Bob I have been working with you remember, I know you.
Student: That’s right. And guess what my middle name is Bob Lee
Now, I have one of the nicest aides ever and I think to spare him from getting his tiny feelings hurt, she just kinda nodded her head and smiled. I, however, am not so nice so I jumped at the chance to correct him!
Me: Bob, that is not your middle name. That is your first and your last name… Bob Lee. That’s a first and a last name.
Student: Yeah I know, that’s my name and my middle name is Bob Lee.
At this point I could tell he was not understanding so being the genius I am I decided to try and reason with the 6 year old.
Me: Bob, your name is Bob Lee. I don’t think you have a middle name because if you did it would come in the middle of Bob and Lee.
Student: Yeah, my middle name is Bob Lee.
Me: So you mean your full name is Bob Bob Lee Lee?
Student: (confused look with his mind thinking… you are crazy lady!)
So, me being the wonderful TEACHER I am, I decide I am going to take this opportunity to TEACH him about names. I walk over to the board, grab the whiteboard marker, and write my first and last name on the board with a huge space in the middle like this:
Robin Silatolu
Me: See Bob, my first name is Robin and my last name is Silatolu and this big emtpy space in the middle is where my middle name goes. Now, when I was born my parents gave me a middle name and it is Lee (so I wrote it in the middle of my first and last name).
Student: Oh!
Me; So, let’s write your first and last name on the board like mine,
Bob Lee
Me: See Bob, this blank space in the middle is where your middle name will go. I don’t know if you have a middle name because not everyone has a middle name.
Student; Oh! But my mom did give me a middle name.
Now I am beaming thinking what an awesome teacher I am and how much I deserve a raise because I have just seen learning occur… he finally undersands middle names.
Me: O.k. Bob, what is it?
Student: Bob Lee!!!!
Me: (walking away gloomily) Just go ahead and work on your math Bob.
Now, you may think I had learned my lesson and that this 6 year old just was not quite ready for the middle name concept…. but you are wrong. I could not let it die here. I was determined to force, I mean teach him to understand middle names. I headed straight for his birth certificate to solve this mystery once and for all. Low and behold he does have a middle name… Alexander! I walk back into my classroom happily and have a seat next to Bob. Our conversation follows…
Me: Guess what Bob, I just went and looked and you do have a middle name
Bob: Really?
Me: Yes, it’s Alexander. Your middle name is Alexander isn’t that cool?
Bob: So my name is Alexander Lee. Cool!
Yes, that’s right. I have done such great teaching that I have convinced him his name is now Alexander. I am awesome! I quickly try to remedy the situation…
Me: No, Bob, your middle name is Alexander so your full name is Bob Alexander Lee. But you really like to go by Bob and that’s what people call you.
Student: Oh, yeah. But my real name is Bob Alexander Lee.
Me: Yes, that’s right, but for now we will call you Bob because that’s your first name.
As you can see… I will surely not be nominated for teacher of the year and no…. I am not getting that raise I deserved!
